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Linda, oh Linda. It's been lonely, wondering if there was anyone else out there like me. Someone who's willing to setup a friend to satisfy their own agenda. Someone else who wouldn't think twice about illegally tape recording private phone conversations or slapping a hidden mike to their sexy little body. You are my mentor. It inspired me when you stood before the media and informed the Nation that we rodents are no different than all those idiots out there who refuse to destroy their best friends and put the nation through a constitutional crisis over a tawdry little indiscretion. Was it your fault that Kenneth Starr turned into a Special Prosecutor Nazi? I don't thiiiiiink so! Did you ask the House Republicans to ditch the Nation's legislative agenda so they could run around gathering dry wood for a bon fire? Nooooo way! Darnit, the President sinned and Americans don't have to put up with that kind of trash. And you helped make it possible for a lot of lawyers to keep up with their Porsche payments. When being a rat gets tough, I'll have your example to look to for strength. No matter how viciously I bring someone to their knees, I'll just offer them a great big hug. Oh sure, people will despise us, but we know what's best for them. And we're gonna take care of 'em even if it kills 'em. As a matter of fact, when it comes to being a rat, you've outdone me, girl. In honor of the expert way you jerked Monica around, I'd like to present you with the Url's Internet Cafe Chain Yank Award. As a recipient of this award, you're in pretty rare company. Yours in Sisterhood until that big spring-loaded lever comes smashing down on our ratty necks. Sincerely, Cafe Management is outraged by Url's left-handed compliments and disassociates itself with any opinion he may have on any subject. In other words, he's known for this kind of crap. |
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